Connelly on Commerce

Terry Connelly is dean of the Ageno School of Business at Golden Gate University and is frequently quoted on business, financial, and economic issues by Bay Area local, as well as national, news media.

 

It’s Thanksgiving: let’s not carp;

Be grateful for the leaky TARP.

So thank You for our daily bread

(And turkey stuffing from the Fed).

 

Take Friday off, it’s not a shirk

If you’re already out of work.

And while you’re missing honest toil,

Be grateful for the price of oil.

 

The table seems a little bare:

Wachovia’s no longer there;

WaMu, Bear and Lehman — gone;

And AIG just hanging on.

 

Detroit’s Big Three all in a row

To grab a share of Paulson’s dough:

Like ”Harry Met Sally’s” diner craving,

They want to have what Citi’s having.

 

But if taxpayer funds they want to poach,

The next time they will travel coach.

The people don’t trust banks or cars;

Folks keep their bucks in cookie jars.

 

As financial globalization

Brings distress to every nation;

And trashes our four-oh-one-kay’s –

Not to mention IRA’s!

 

In response — bailout buffet:

Too bad  Warren missed the play;

He’s already long GE,

And Goldman, too — don’t try for three!

 

But Congress braked on General Motors.

They must have listened to the voters;

Who dissed incumbents (not Left, most Right)

And gave Obama one big night.

 

McCain saw the crisis, and he acted:

Stopped campaigning, then retracted;

Brought in Palin, brought up Ayers,

But couldn’t beat the Wall Street bears.

 

And does anyone have a hankie

For our noble friend Bernanke;

The only Duck who isn’t Lame;

He really shouldn’t cop the blame

 

For sins of Wall Street engineers

Who only worked with forward gears

And interest rates adjustable

That quickly turned combustible.

 

And ratings firms that never met

An issuer they couldn’t vet

And dearly charge to certify

That trees indeed grow to the sky.

 

Even Greenspan changed his tune:

He who praised ARMs to the moon.

Now he sings a different song:

“I’m sorry folks, I got it wrong!”

 

He just could not believe his eyes

When he beheld the bankers’ lies.

He trusted them with laissez faire

Instead of good old “buyer beware”.

 

So what’s the future have in store

When Bush & Company is no more?

It seems the President-Elect

Is now the President-In-Effect.

 

In two more months we’re good to go

With Stimulus Package 2.0,

For jobs and unemployment checks

And fixing infrastructure wrecks.

 

We have fourth Thursday in November

To make us sit back and remember

That bad times pass like winter’s freeze,

If we pay our lenders Overseas.

 

It seems like what our bankers need

Are investors like Prince Al-Walid

Who really don’t get too perplexed

From one recession to the next.

 

Bank balance sheets are skin and bones;

All deferred taxes and toxic loans

That forced the Feds to bail them out –

$700 billion: we’ve lost count!

 

So let’s get lending, financiers;

We can’t just wait for four more years.

Enough of your timidity –

There’s now enough liquidity.

 

The truth is that we all got greedy;

So no surprise now that we’re needy;

New team’s in town to help, you’ll see:

Geithner,  Summers and A. Goolsbee.

 

But pause for thanks to Paulson, Hank;

Nancy, Ben and Barney Frank,

Fannie, Freddie, FDIC,

And the critics at CNBC.

 

At least we did get something done:

And we’ll know recovery has begun

When mortgage common sense abounds,

And we don’t pick stocks in “Lightning Rounds”!